the little glimpses.

this weekend we had the radius-team retreat - designed for those of us that have committed to radius for this 2-0-5/2-0-6 year (thanks jibjab!) we went away to breckenridge, all 20 of us, well 21 with baby hayden!

it was a time of sitting down and relaxing for me. it was a time of remembering.

about 8 months ago i picked up and left what was my life in chicago and moved to denver. what seemed like a radical, out of nowhere move was really well founded. and that was what i was reminded of...

i was reminded of all the little glimpses of possibility. i was reminded of all the what if's... i was reminded of how i was not and stil i'm not in a place of being a pioneer and leading the charge in the intentionality of transformation and growing deeper in love with the trinity. i was reminded of my conscious choice of wanting to be immersed in a community that although i knew it was not "perfect" by our regular standards, everyone involved is committed to these deep roots of love. i knew that we would all fall flat on our faces and hurt each other along the way as we figured it out, but we are all in it and committed. i was reminded of how this is the true meaning of "perfection".

i was reminded of my story and how it ties in with the bigger radius story. no matter how much longer i'm here - 3 months, a year, five years, the rest of my life - my story is connected with the radius story, with the stories of everyone else here. the intersection is real and there's no "turning back" - not that i want there to be one. and i was reminded of how about 3 years ago, in the midst of figuring out next steps and just plain getting to know other people, i happened to spend a weekend with about 10 other crazy people brainstorming ideas and thoughts that miraculously became the foundation of what i live out today. that was the weekend when ideologically i became tied to our experimental church. little did i know, as i was reminded by my friend sara today, that i would live in denver living all of this out.

all these little glimpses were flooded into my mind this weekend, once again painting a comprehensive picture - a picture that rocks my guts and leaves me with this reality: i don't know how to do life any other way.