i've been working for a week now at a construction company as a receptionist - the actual receptionist just got married. i went from creating my own schedule an hanging out with myself, god, and my friends whenever i pleased to 11-hour long days... 2 for commuting in the bus, 8 hours of work, and the lunch hour. i'm exhausted. i know this is the life that most people lead, and changing so drastically overnight has done something in me. the job itself is pretty dumb - and i get to e-mail maria and megs most of the time. and i spend the whole day doing something that i'm not passionate about, so that fries me.
and it numbs me.
i feel really disconnected. i don't think i've learned the art of staying in touch with my soul and dealing with the realities of life.
i take that back. i think i do know. my soul and my body can't take 40 hour weeks. i don't have the capacity. it drains me. it kills me, yet this is the reality i'm in now and i need to adjust in some fashion.
maybe i'm speaking out of the shock of this week. maybe once i find a routine that fits this rhythm i'll be able to connect with myself.
for now, it's killing me... and i can't seem to find rest.
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2 comments:
Honey, welcome to the pain of leaving a job with freedom to a job with tight restrictions...I felt it for a while too...
vivie - i so hear your need for rest! I hope that you're able to take the time you need to connect with yourself in the next couple of weeks!
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