i've been tagged?!?!?!

so my friend eve "blog-tagged" me. i'm not quite sure how this works, but i assume i get to answer the question that she tagged me with, so here it goes:

List five songs that you are currently loving. It doesn't matter what genre they are from, whether they have words, or even if they're any good, but they must be songs you're really enjoying right now. Post these instructions, the artists, and the songs in your blog. Then tag five other friends to see what they're listening to.

"i have a dream" - abba
"inolvidable" - shakira
"al andar" - abba
"here with me" - sara brightman
'that i would be good" - alanis morisette

and i'm not tagging anyone else :-D


in other happenings - i'm not supposed to know that the people at the local seminary have contacted my references and i'm one of four top candidates!!! so, since i'm not supposed to know, i'm not sharing this information with you ;-D

also - i had my first voice lesson today in about 20 years! it was extremely scary, i was overly self-concious, and i loved every minute of it. something is waking up in my soul. not quite sure what it is, but i feel it.

ok, i'm done... on with your life :-D

do i know you from somewhere?!?

so now on almost a daily basis i get the "why do you look so familiar? do i know you from somewhere?" and i say, "i work at the starbucks across the tabor center." "oh, that's where i know you from, nice to meet you!"

SURREAL!!!

is there such a thing as a "starbucks celebrity"?

weird.

back in colorado

i got back sunday night. i was crying like a baby when i left. i miss my sister very much.

i also miss being able to speak english and/or spanish and being understood no matter where i was at. i realized that i do sort of make a subtle effort in order to speak just english all the time. weird.

i realized that my longing for a place called "home" is ridiculously huge. and that's what miami tangibly felt like. i also am very aware that this is a cry to reside in the trinity and not on superficial life. i'm praying the trinity becomes more and more tangible.

here's to hoping...

in other events, i had an interview today at a local seminary. it's a part time position that connects high school upperclassmen with seminary education. i'm very excited about this opportunity and the possibilities it brings with it. who knows, maybe the days of cranking lattes are coming to a close and the days of pursuing a ph.d. are just ahead.

i'll keep you posted.


ps - it's officially fall and we have a fireplace... love it!

bienvenido a miami!

last night i landed in miami. my sister's birthday was about two weeks ago, so for about a whole month my brother in law and i have been planning a secret trip to surprise her.

she was surprised.

her reaction went from, "what are you doing here? what the crap? what the crap are you doing here?" and then incesant screaming. it was fun :-D

i'm at their temporary home while they are right now finishing on the longest close for a house ever. earlier today i went with them for the last walk-through. it's perfect for them. it's big enough that if they have even two kids they don't have to look for something bigger and small enough to feel cozy and not overwhelming to take care of. yeay for them!

it's been good to be resting and not doing anything today. i've been working a lot this past week in order to be able to take a mini vacation without a huge paycut.

by the way, miami and southern florida can't be considered part of the continental u.s. it's way more like puerto rico. hot and humid, spanglish everywhere, it's not even remotely close to georgia. i think we should refer to it, to quote my brother in law, as the "northern caribbean". that seems to fit better.

a whole year...

today is the year anniversary of me working at starbucks. i don't know whether to celebrate or bang my head against my brick wall :-D

i didn't know how long i would be working for "the man" when i started. all i knew is that i was done with interviewing with churches and looking for ministry positions. it's been a good healing year.

and now i'm wondering - what's next? i'm done with it, i'm bored, yet it's an easy job and it has amazing health insurance. and it pays the bills. i'm tight in cash, but it pays the bills.

so i would think it is pretty ironic that on the year anniversary i applied for a job in ministry. i sent my resume to a local seminary who has an open part-time position for an interim coordinator for connecting high school upperclassmen to seminary education/development (www.faithtrek.org). It has a great deal of administrative stuff, which i can do but is not my strongest point - but what job doesn't have that part? even shift supervising at the bucks has some administrative stuff happening.

so i'm excited because this sounds like it would bring me life, and i'm scared. i'm scared because it's been almost a year of putting my real self in the line, telling someone that i REALLY want a job, and then wait for their answer. and even though in the past it was me who turned most of them down, there was still some pain in the whole scenario. so i'm very much willingly opening up that can of worms again.

if i get it, i'll be doing starbucks and this. i'd be working a lot! but we're not even there yet.

for now let's celebrate/commemorate/observe the year of commitment to howie and all the big shots at the bucks.

p.s. on a lighter note, here's a sign from central city - a mountain-city-almost-capital of colorado in the 1800's

i'm in picture mode

i met my parents in vegas this summer...



this is me and mom... it's kind of freaky how much we look alike considering that i look more like my dad's side of the family.



that's my mom and my dad at the main reservoir created by the hoover dam



that's me at the hoover dam.



and that's me at the grand canyon.

more pictures

i just found these...

this was two years ago...



and this was almost 25 years ago...



i love my theethy!!! (that's code for sister)

denver

this is the view from our apartment








this is the view from the red rocks stage









and this is us finding shelter from the rain

two days off in a row!!

that's right, i have thursday and friday of this week off!!! it's a very exciting time in life my friends. last week i had saturday and sunday off. without me asking for them. it's very impressive, i say. what to do...

my friend drew.

he lives in chicago.

he went on a trip recently to the astrodome with his friend greg.

he was able to go in and fool around, take some pictures.

they joked about how useless this place was.

not even two weeks later, that's the place that has served as shelter for thousands.

www.edwardapplebee.blogspot.com

pictures speak louder than words.

they call me debbie downer

the last few days i've been sad. and now i'm angry. everything in my path is a "son of a bitch" or a "stupid mother fucker". even the timers at work to let me know that the coffee is expired is a "smf". i've been supporting my mild food addiction through any means i can find. and sleeping like there's no tomorrow.

yes, friends, i'm depressed.

this blog seems to be a continual debbie downer...

why do we humans continually choose to act out of hatred instead of love (myself included)? don't we realize that we hurt those we love along the way? why must we be so selfish and try and secure our own space, our own self? why do we fear being abandoned and/or being crushed?

why do i forget on a regular basis that the trinity is there to be with me in the midst of it all? to nurture me? to transform me? to satisfy my deepest desires?

i'm not shaming myself. i'm really wondering... what is that all about?

why do i want to believe that the trinity is not enough when i know he/she/it/they fully is/are?

have you ever had the feeling that you're trapped and there's no way out? have you ever had that feeling while knowing it's a lie and that you do have a choice?

i got that feeling. and i know i have a choice.

i just don't want to be proactive.

i'd rather feel sorry for myself.

except that gets old pretty quickly and makes me wanna barf.

i'll sleep on it tonight (again!)

ding! done! fired!

it's official... i'm bored!!

i knew that starbucks was only going to do it for so long - i just wasn't expecting it to be now. i don't want to work weekends anymore, i don't want to wake up at the butt-crack of dawn anymore.

this will sound extremely counter who i am, but i'm actually craving a 9-5 brainless job. yet i also want something that is impactful and makes a difference.

i really don't know what i want...

wait, i do. i want to not be concerned about financial income and be able to contribute to society in a myriad of ways. it might take the shape of customer service one week. the next, i could be organizing something for someone. i don't know.

stupid money! always in the way!!

arrested development

probably one of the best shows ever!!!

season one is out on dvd. season two is being shown on installments friday nights on fox (love you tivo!!) and is out sometime this fall. season 3 is starting sometime soon!!!

please go out of your way and watch this show. hillarious!! akward as hell... hillarious.

i've also realized that i don't know much about updating/upkeeping of blogs. this page is looking outdated. oh well.

i'm going camping next weekend. so excited!!

AND there's a puerto rican summer fest next sunday in boulder, which is about half an hour away. guess who's excited?!?! guess who also found a puertorican grocery store nearby?!?! well, nearby if you drive, it's only 20 minutes. it's about an hour extravaganza on the bus. love you, and never again.

bring on the arroz con gandules!!!! so good!!!

like a bad joke...

seven sessions in this traffic school deal (read prior post). i'm halfway through the fourth one when the power goes out... HOLY SHIT!!!! i've wasted two hours of my life in front of the computer and now i might have to start all over again... it is a very painful and dumb experience... but as kharma or providence may have it, when i went back, all the work was saved and i started where i left off... lovely. now, only 3 more sessions to go.

and please, no one use bad theology and tell me that the reason the power went off was because i compared traditional christianity to traffic school... please... don't do it. it REALLY is bad theology.

traffic school

for those of you that didn't know, i got a speeding ticket the last month i was in chicago. so, i had no car, i was driving kochie's and kreg's car, and i was doing apparently 64 m.p.h. on rt.14 in barrington, which is a 45 m.p.h. zone. for the month of may i had to use my passport as my i.d. my friends from work said that i was carrying it around in case i needed to flee the country or drink a beer :-)

so finally i got my act together and started working on this online thing - the dumbest thing ever!!!!! it's the most shameful and fear-based experience ever!!!! (sort of similar to traditional/mainstream christianity :-D

so i'm in the middle of it, wanting for it to be done. here's an example of how dumb it is. they ask you to write the names of five people you love. the next screen shows up with two of those names crossed out while mr. voice over says, "two out of five people die every year in vehicle related accidents - so think about it. two of your loved ones could be dead."

ok, who can say that and keep a straight face?!?! seriously, i hope the guy who did this voice over got paid well, seriously...

ok, i'm back to finishing this stupid thing.

it varies...

today i feel like i'm in over my head. yesterday i was exhausted. the day before everything was fine. there's no real way of telling how everything will feel like from one minute to the next.

i'm still in the midst of the swirl from moving halfway across the country. one moment i think it was the best decision ever and the next minute i'm wondering what the crap did i "just" do.

i've realized what i want to do in life. i want to create beautiful spaces where god's glory and our glory can shine and grow and transform us. now how do i go about to do that in my context is another question/idea that i'm in the midst of figuring out.

i'm doing my best to live out of who i am without looking into what others expect. i do a fairly decent job (i think!) and every now and then i truly do wonder what will others think when i don't do the "expected".

i'm having a hard time communing with the trinity. it's like it is everywhere and nowhere all at the same time. in the meantime i hang on tight.

in case you were wondering, today my roommates and i finished the third season of 24.

right now we're also making our way through the first season of arrested development.

just finished dan allender's book "to be told." almost done with "the mermaid chair". about to start reading "god's politics: why the right gets it wrong and the left doesn't get it."

i want to write. i want to perform. i want to create. i don't seem to have the energy to go about these.

so much desire and all i want to do is sleep.

father, son, spirit - meet me in my dreams.

more of the such

pb, a guy i used to work with at the kildeer starbucks e-mailed me tonight. it took me by surprise just how happy i was to hear from him.

went white water rafting and camping this weekend. love the two of them. i'm an undercover outdoors girl.

will write an essay soon on "carnage of stupidity". dianne, our rafting guide used the phrase and i think it's genius.

don't want to go to bed - yet i'm tired as hell.

i'm afraid if i go to bed i won't be able to explore my soul, which seems to be on life support.

the thought of being intentional with new relationships overwhelms me.

home feels safe.

i'm craving for the trinity to show up and for me to recognize her.

i'm craving to be known - to be loved.

24, adjusting, & the such

so my roommates sharon and jen and i have been settling over the past couple of weeks, getting to know the new surroundings, and adjusting to our new life, which has been so far exciting, fun, hard, and challenging all in the same breath. a block away from our apartment building is charlie brown's and about two blocks away is gov'nors park (restaurant/pubs). they are becoming a friday and/or saturday night tradition.

we've also been watching 24... it's addictive to the point of being sad. we already watched the first season and are halfway through the second one, already wondering what will happen when we have seen them all. nothing better to bond over with your roommates than make-believe terrorism :-)

i'm doing well. spinning every now and then. ok, so more now than then. if you've called me in the past few days and i haven't gotten back to you, sorry. for some reason my phone is overwhelming and i haven't checked my messages.

i love my new apartment. i love that i can go swimming if i want to since we have an indoor pool. i love walking everywhere. denver is quickly growing on me. i miss my friends from chicago. i miss my apartment in barrington. i miss chicago.

it's all good. it's all part of it all.

how are you guys doing? e-mail me, let me know. my computer doesn't seem overwhelming, at least for now :-)

denver!!!!

after two days of driving, we're finally here!!!

as soon as i saw my friend nick tears filled my eyes. i wasn't expecting it. as much as it was so painful to leave my former life it feels so right that i'm here right now.

when we pulled up to our apartment complex, about 10 people from radius, the church plant, were already in our apartment. we were greeted by our friend mark phillips waving to us from our balcony. little did we know that they were cooking pizza in our place and were ready to help us settle. they basically did everything. it was overwhelming in a beautiful way. we virtually had to do anything.

our apartment already feels like home. let's see how the city treats us!